Because RuneScape updates on Monday most of the time!
And so, this week we sees a new quest: The Royal Trouble! Well, trouble has been stirring in the kingdoms of Miscellania and Etceteria. King Vargas of Miscellania and Queen Sigrid of Etceteria wants to declare war on each other, claiming that soldiers from the other kingdom has been stealing items and food from his or her people. And it is up to the Regent of Miscellania (also known as the player) to solve this quest!
SPOILERS AHEAD
The storyline is kind of lame though. Five teenagers from a barbarian city named Rellekka cannot pass the Fremennik Trials, which is a special test which requires a person to pass in order to become a Fremennik adult. Thus, they cannot qualify as adults, and the gang's leader's father almost wanted to give up on them.
Fed up, they went to the nearby Kingdoms of Miscellania and Etceteria. One has a smart plan. Disguise as soldiers, take items and food from both Kingdoms and claim that they are soldiers from the other Kingdom. After the two Kingdoms declared war of each other, they would "solve the crisis", return the items they stolen, claim they recover it and bring peace to both Kingdoms, thinking the Fremenniks would be so impressed about them bringing peace to two Kingdoms that they would be made Fremennik adults. Their plan, alas, would have worked if not for a Giant Sea Snake. It took the crates which contain items from both kingdoms and make its nest there.
And so, after solving the mystery (where I recover pages from a diary from extinguished fire to read what the hell is going on), I found the five teenagers. They told me that they were so cold they had to burn the pages of their diaries for fire (though you may ask why the last page has a sentence "Now we have to burn the pages of our diaries". Why the hell is he writing that when he is going to burn the freaking paper?!). Of course, I can pick up burning pages of diaries and read them as if you are reading your textbook. I am the Flame Master after all, remember?
And I proceed to the den of the monster, armed with a deadly whip from the abyss and a religious holy book from Lord Saradomin, wearing a powerful self-crafted amulet that brings glory with a proud Saradomin Cape flying behind me. I look to my surroundings. A room, half in the water. Crates are littered everywhere, and the water is bubbling; Fearing the worse, I raised my whip higher.
As I expected, the monster roared and foolishly attempted to sink its sharp fangs into my delicious (to it of course) flesh. A foolish attempt indeed. I did a backward somersault, out of the way of danger. I quickly took out a throwing knife from my pocket, and without thinking much, throw it at the beast. Wicked sick! Hit in the eye! With the monster roaring loudly in anger and pain, I instinctively ran up, sweat flowing from my face, my grip on my whip tightened...
"Die, beast!" With a loud and aggressive battlecry, I aimed for his head and slammed my whip down. Boom, HEADSHOT.
And I recovered the items and both Kingdoms are at peace again. Justice wins again as the Hero emerges victorous!
SPOILER ENDS HERE
Anyway, some screenshots of you guys to enjoy.
Of course you haven't. When I heard that I had to marry you, I quickly slayed all the priests in this world. ...Oops! Did I say that loud? :P
Indeed.
"You're the King? Well I didn't vote for you." -Quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, a movie in 1975. Anyway, you don't need to vote, Mr. Guard, the Kingdom of Miscellania adopts a system of monarchy, not democracy! All you have to do is follow whatever orders we give you!
[Screenshot unfortunately lost :(]
The teenagers were supposed to hide when they hear me coming. Armod, being exceptionally slow, had all his hiding places taken by the other four, so the others told him to act like a rock. Ironically, he can tell me "I am not supposed to talk, because I am supposed to act like a rock". *rolls eyes* Now we can see exactly why they did not pass the Fremennik Trials. XD
[Screenshot unfortunately lost as well :(]
:D Rakkur is my Fremennik name. Yes, I passed the Fremennik Trials, unlike some five other teenagers, eh? :P
It's the Warmongering Harpy! Run for your lives! Defend yourselves! O_O
"Yuchi, are you scared?"
"Of course not, Samy."
"Even though there is only two of us?"
"Paladins fear nothing, Dragonflame."
"Heh. Whatever you say, Lightbringer... We are approaching our... destination."
"Yeah, I can see the black clouds coming out of that nasty-looking cave.
"Take out your warhammer, and grip it firmly. I aren't gonna lend you my sword or my spear if you accidentally lost it."
"Yes, yes, your precious sword and spear that you clean, polish and sharpen every night, yes, yes, I know."
"Are you playing around with me? To a warrior, his sword is always the most important."
"All I know is that if you continue on with your... philosophy, I'd have to charge in myself."
"Be my guest."
"No thanks. Just hurry up."
"Ok, hold on. Uh-hem. This is Warrior Samy Dragonflame, reporting from the entrance of Vernon's blog, ready to charge in. Companions: Paladin Yuchi Lightbringer."
"Why must our recordings be so detailed though?"
"All I know is that we got a mission to accomplish today. Let's go."
"Beware, of the force of the fist crushing the cup!"
"What the heck is this monster talking about, Yuchi?"
"Meh, his philosophy is more difficult to understand than yours."
"Force of fist! Crush the cup!"
"You don't have to shout!"
"He wants us to crush his cup, Samy."
"Couldn't agree more. Let's do this, Yuchi!"
"Just trust your buds!"
"RARGH!"
"YARGH!"
"ROAR!!"
"Yuchi Lightbringer reporting. We have just slain our first monster and, hey Samy, what's the rush? Wait up!"
"Argh...! What's that eerie song?!"
"It cuts to the bone, like the howling freeze of winter!"
"It is the Lion's Roar! Vernon mastered it!"
"No! It's the Megahorn Drill! He mastered that!"
"Wait... NO! It's Vernon singing One Piece!"
"Holy s***! His singing makes me like Chen Wei Lian!"
Chen Wei Lian is a Singaporean Singer. The quote is from Yoshida, our dear Death God, who at first dislikes Chen Wei Lian, but grew to like him after hearing the singing of a certain female classmate.
"Let's get the hell outta here before we melt in agony!"
"Killed by some terrible singing voice. What an honour..."
"Spare me the sarcasm! Let's just get the hell outta here!"
"You don't have to run so fast!"
"Ok, no more singing."
"Phew, my eardrums almost burst."
"With a voice like that, he's a threat to humanity."
"Too right you are, Samy. Hey, look, carvings on the wall!"
"Let me try and decipher it. Light please."
"Holy Light!"
"Thanks. Let's see... It seems to be something to do with... Dumb, gay, death and impossible?"
"It's impossible for a dumb gay named Vernon to die. Is that it?"
"I'm not that certain, Yuchi, but..."
"You are supposed to say "yes", damn it."
"Fine, yes. Let's continue to the next section. Something to do with him finishing faster than Yoshida despite the latter starting twenty minutes earlier? For goodness' sake, I wrote more than Yoshida ten minutes after I started, when Yoshida had already spent thirty minutes."
"More PROpaganda to make idiots believe he really is a pro, eh?"
"Cult of personality, I call this. Not good, not good at all."
"History teaches you too much shit."
"Ah, I guess so."
"Imagine it's not Joseph Stalin's face up there, but Vernon's."
Joseph Stalin was the leader of the Soviet Union from the mid-1920s to his death in 1953.
"Holy Saradomin Breath, Yuchi, don't make me have nightmares tonight."
"Right, sorry, man. Continue."
"Sure. Something about his corrections being gay."
"Heh. This is what you call "Shang Liang Bu Zhen Xia Liang Wai".
Shang Liang Bu Zhen Xia Liang Wai is a Chinese proverb, and when translated to English, roughly means that if the foundation is not strong, the building will not be stable.
"Oh? Explain, Yuchi."
"If a father is gay, his son would likely end up as a gay. Thus, if a boy is gay, his corrections would also definitely end up as a gay."
"So since Vernon's corrections is gay, he is a gay? Hahaha, nice one!"
"Yeah... Continue please."
"I'm kinda having a stomachache here for laughing too much. Take over me, thanks."
"Damn ya, Samy. Let's see... Some more "bub"s and some more "pro"s."
"We'll skip that crap. I got bored of it."
"Right-o. Let's see... Something to do with running away."
"I knew it! He was running away from the demons from hell he unleashed!"
"What demons?"
"Behind ya, bloody hell."
"What the...? ARGH, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"
"GOD, VERNON IS SINGING AGAIN!"
"Phew, the singing stopped."
"Look, Yuchi! The demons have collapsed! They are burning to ashes! No, I did nothing!"
"Wow, a voice that can even kill demons when singing. Scary..."
"Too true... WHAT THE?!"
"1m 90nn4 9v u 70 7h3 c0un7 0f 10 70 937 ur u91y,y3110\/\/,n0 900d k1553r 0ff my PR0p3r7y, b3f0r31i p0p ur 9u75 fu11 0f 134d5. 1,2,10!!1!!11!!1"
"Holy, I don't like the sound of that, even though I don't understand. What it means, Samy?"
"Arm yourself, it's time we fight or die."
"Demons!"
"I'm shaking in my boots, and Vernon's shaking in his boobs. Let's take care of this."
"Of course."
"Just don't freaking do that glowing-warhammer thingy and throw it at the monster. Last time you almost hit me."
"Yuchi Lightbringer, with companion Samy Dragonflame, signing out! Bring it on!"
"Less talk, more action, Yuchi! RARGH!!"
Blog post edited on 31 October 2007 (coincidentally Yuchi's 16th birthday XD) to update dead images -.-
No comments:
Post a Comment