Feel So Terrible

You see her, you can't touch her.
You hear her, you can't hold her.
You want her, you can't have her.
You want to, but she won't let you.

I feel so fucking terrible I feel like doing nothing but just screaming out loud and punching punchbags.

Don't fucking want to smoke cigarettes, and can't be fucked to go downstairs to buy beer. I guess listening to The World (Death Note opening 1) at a loud volume works... How long? I can't say. Damn.

But first, let's cover the school day first. I suppose...

First period was P.E. Was expecting 2.4km run, but nope, we are doing sit-ups. The ladies went first, so us guys were playing soccer in the quadrangle instead. Nothing much memorable about it. Then it's time for us to do. Yoshida, whom I partnered with, did a 39. I went all out, aware that the girls were looking, which is particularly why, to admit it. God damn my fucking weak body, I tired out after 25, fucking shit. Reached 30 and was at the peak. Blasted bastard. Cheated and added a 1 while only able to do halfway. 31, just the passing mark. Fuck my weak body. So when I went to tell the teacher my score, holy fucking shit, everyone has 40+ and some even 50! God damn it, why am I so physically weak? Why will she think of me? Such a weakling who couldn't even do 40 or 50? Why? Why? GOD DAMN IT!!

Back to our soccer game. Knowing that she's looking at the game, I went all out, trying to impress her, knowing that I rather suck in soccer (or any game in particular, in fact). Went charging throughout the whole game, giving no damn to safety. So I kicked Dao Hsen's ankle trying to get the ball from him, knocked Jovian down trying to get the ball from him, collide into Wei Sheng, both of us trying to get the ball from an opponent. God damn it, if only I could be good at soccer. God damn it! On another tackle, I ran to Jovian and he rammed the ball hard, trying to shoot or pass (can't tell). Deflect it with my knee, so it went up into the air a few good metres. Now my knee's injured. Fucking shit. Why the fuck do I suck at sport so much? Why the fuck!?

Geography was, as usual, boring. I was reading a book of Chinese compositions the Chinese teacher lent the class yersterday. English was boring too, but no choice. After recess, Maths was equally boring. I finished the worksheet in like 40 minutes, and the teacher has to spend 2 hours going through just the examples. Zzzzzz.

So we next went to Physics. Rearranging contents in our files and determining whether we have any lost worksheets. We were supposed to write a 'LOST' in our content page if we lost worksheets, but us smart alecs instead went to photocopy from each other. Imagine the whole class of around thirty squeezing into one corner, where the photocopy machine was placed next to a wall. Took a damn long time, so Vernon and I decided to just get the one we both don't have and photocopy from each other outside.

By the way, the four worksheets I am missing are numbered one, four, eight and nine. 1489, wonder if it will come out for 4D tonight?

After getting the shit done, we went down to KFC to have lunch. Both of us was chatting rather cheerfully while eating, when all of a sudden, she came in, together with some guy I have no complete idea about, as well as a female classmate. Both of us turned silent immediately. It's as if we know what the other feels, both of us liking her and knowing that each other likes her and all. I suddenly lost my appetite and couldn't stand eating there any more. Vernon ate especially fast (for someone who usually takes twice the amount of time eating compared to a normal person), and ended up eating faster than me. I didn't touch the piece of chicken skin Vernon left, either, as I usually do (he doesn't like chicken skins for some reason, and I, after watching Sanji's past from One Piece where he and Zeff almost starved to hunger, didn't want to leave any leftovers [Read Wikipedia: He also dislikes leftovers immensely and will show great anger to those who leave them.]). So we just picked up our bags and left the restaurant in silence. Exiting, the guy whom I dunno (Vernon and him know each other though) shouted to Vernon bye, calling him 'hentai bastard', in front of her some more. I'm thoroughly impressed with Vernon's tolerance, merely pointing a middle finger. I'd have picked up a chair and tried to smash it into his skull if it were me.

Wonder if he's feeling as terrible as me now?

A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain.

Guess I should add this too.

The content on this blog is my own personal opinions and experiences and it does not represent any group/institution/society/whatever. By entering this blog and reading it, you fully agree that whatever content that is here is considered nonsensical nonsense and is not to be taken seriously. Oh whatever just have fun though.

Coped from Jonathan one. Pai-seh hor Jon. :P