Anyway, all the members were here today. Nagato Yuki was in her usual spot, reading a hardback book about a minor satellite of Saturn falling down, or something like that. Asahina-san, who didn't have to come, had still obediently arrived and was seated on a steel chair, looking confused.
Yuki is reading The Fall of Hyperion, but instead, Kyon mistakes it for Hyperion, one of Saturn's moons. XD
Was this some kind of joke? All of the other three members of the SOS Brigade have told me that Suzumiya isn't human. Has global warming heated their brains so much that they short-circuited?
Global warming... XD And we all know that Haruhi isn't human... She's God... O.O
Itsuki: "I'd have preferred not to transfer to this school so suddenly, but there has been a change in circumstances. I never thought those two girls would have approached Suzumiya Haruhi so quickly already. Before that, they had always been silently observing her."
Stop treating Haruhi like some treasured endangered species!
"Treasured endangered species"... XD
Itsuki: "I don't know what really happened three years ago. All I do know is, I suddenly realized I possessed paranormal powers one day three years ago. I was really scared, I didn't know what to do. Luckily for me, it wasn't long before the 'Organization' took me in, or I would've killed myself thinking something is wrong with my brain."
I had already been thinking something must be wrong with your brain ever since that time.
......Hey, Haruhi! You've become a god already, oh my god! (Pun intended.)
^_^
I was overusing the word "unbelievable" so much now that I needed a thesaurus.
Here, Kyon. XD "Astonishing, doubtful, dubious, far-fetched, implausible, impossible, improbable, incogitable, inconceivable, incredible, outlandish, past belief, phony, preposterous, questionable, reachy, staggering, suspect, unconvincing, unimaginable, unsubstantial, unthinkable, weak". :)
I punched Taniguchi softly, causing him to laugh uncontrollably. Ha, if this guy's an esper, then from today, I'm the Secretary-General of the United Nations.
All hail Kyon, Secretary-General of the United Nations!! XD
In such hot weather, even Haruhi could only lie exhausted on her desk, looking sorrowfully at the hills in the distance.
"Kyon, I'm hot!"
Really? So am I.
Yeah, she's hot. ^___________^
Haruhi: "What do you think Mikuru-chan should wear next?"
After bunny girl and maid costumes would be......wait a minute, there's going to be another costume!?
I like Kyon's reaction here. XD
"To put it simply," the red light (Itsuki) now flickered like a flame, "You and Suzumiya-san have now disappeared from our world. This world is not a Sealed Reality but rather a brand new reality created by Suzumiya-san. The Sealed Realities we've seen before were probably just drills before she decided to re-create the world for real."
Such an interesting joke, but I don't know how to laugh now. Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha. XD
Kyon: "Must I live alone with Haruhi in such a gray world?"
Itsuki: "In this world, you're like Adam and Eve. Just work hard on re-populating the world, and it'll be fine."
Kyon: "......I'm so gonna beat the crap out of you."
Haruhi: "It doesn't matter whether it's an alien, a time-traveler, or a esper. They're not going to casually appear in front of us just like that! Do you know how precious they are? If we find them, we have to grab them by the neck, tie them up, and hang them up so they can't escape! The people that I randomly grabbed off the streets to join our club can't be that rare and precious!"
Wow, that actually made some sense. But other than me, the other three really are blessed with supernatural characteristics. I'm the only normal human being. Wait a minute, did she say that she just grabbed random people to be in her club?
Yup, she did. ^_^"
Yet Haruhi was convinced her speech has moved the entire audience and looked very excited. "I bet you all have questions right now?"
I only have questions about how your brain works.
There used to be a saying, "There's nothing more terrifying than not needing to pay." The thing is, Haruhi doesn't seem to care. If someone knows something that would make her terrified, please, do let me know.
Taniguchi: "So when did it begin? I saw you embracing her in the classroom back then. That's probably one of Suzumiya's scripts. You did that to scare me on purpose, right? You can't fool me."
It's a good thing Taniguchi misinterpreted the whole thing, the weight on my shoulders was instantly lifted at once. ......Wait a minute, didn't you come in the classroom because you forgot to bring something? How were we supposed to know you were coming? ......Of course, I didn't tell him about this. Taniguchi is an idiot, and there's really no point in telling an idiot that he's an idiot. Sometimes I'm even grateful that the gods have made Taniguchi an idiot at birth
That's mean to say of one's friend... XD
Itsuki: "She told me that yesterday. I will be playing an esper disguised as a high school student."
Isn't that what you are!?
Koizumi lifted the light reflector board high above his head, I had no idea where Haruhi got her hands on this one. The Movie Club was probably reporting a theft to the police right now. By the way, Koizumi, aren't you supposed to be the male lead?
If so, allow me to leave first. I'm sorry, I have no intention of staying like this, since time doesn't wait. You can't just reset a life easily, and there are no save points lying around in some back alley allowing you to save your progress.
Asahina-san had her shoulders wrapped by Haruhi's arm as they looked out towards the sea in the distance. "Our target is Hollywood and Broadway!" she was forced to shout out loudly. It's a good thing to have a great ambition, but if you go along the direction you're currently facing, you'll end up in Australia instead.
"Wouldn't you be able to make it if you stayed up all night?"
Who's going to stay up? I didn't ask that, because right now there was only me, and Haruhi looking straight at me with her black sandalwood-like eyes.
"We could just stay here tonight,"
Haruhi then said something that made me very surprised,
"I'll help you."
Judging from the result, Haruhi never helped much. For a while she stood mumbling behind me, but within an hour, she was already lying asleep on the table. Really, I felt like filming her in her sleep. I could place the image of her sleeping in the movie's ending.
Finally, there was Haruhi's disclaimer.
It was a disclaimer that I convinced Haruhi to do at all costs. I told her that she must include this crucial element at the end of the movie, and it had to be done by the director herself.
It was a magical disclaimer that would eliminate all of the problems created:
"The events depicted in this movie are fictitious. It has nothing to do with any person, organization, and any other known terms and phenomena. It's all made up nonsense. Any resemblance to the above is purely coincidental. Oh, the commercials are different. Please give your support to Oomori Electronics and the Yamatsuchi Model Store! Huh? You want me to repeat it? The events depicted in this movie are fictitious. It has nothing to do with any person, organization... Kyon, why do I have to say this? Isn’t it obvious?"
Haruhi: "What else would I be here for? To illegally enter the premises, of course."
Don't openly declare your criminal intentions like that, there's a limit to being shameless!
I looked at Asahina, Koizumi and Nagato in turn, and observed a stunned face, a smiling face, and a blank face from them respectively. I then said,
"A field trip, huh......field trip for what?"
"For the SOS Brigade."
"I meant, what will we be doing?"
"Having a field trip."
What?
Going on a field trip solely for the purpose of experiencing a field trip.
Isn't that the same as saying "my headache hurts", "the tragic play is tragic", or "frying a fried fish"?
"What does it matter? In other words, the means and ends of this activity are the same. Besides, of course a headache hurts, who's heard of anyone enjoying a headache?"
I don't know whether there's something wrong with Haruhi's grammar, or if she's speaking in a different dialect. But the real problem lies with the field trip itself.
Due to what we had discussed earlier, I tried to invite him. If it were Taniguchi, even Haruhi probably wouldn't mind. He, Kunikida and Tsuruya-san had become the Filler Trio whenever we had a problem finding people.
During the elevator's descent, Asakura chuckled.
"Hey, do you like Nagato-san?"
Well, it's not that I hate her. Choosing between Like or Hate, I would choose the former, but I have no reason to hate her in the first place. She is my savior. Yup. Asakura, it is Nagato Yuki who saved me from that murderous blade of yours, so how can I hate her?
I sighed at Haruhi's meticulousness as I took out the sack containing my PE uniform. Inside this huge sports bag was a short sleeve PE shirt, a pair of shorts, a trainer jacket and a pair of trousers, all of which were worn during PE in the first session. The infiltration plan that Haruhi thought up of in the cab was obviously "disguising as North High students." "Koizumi-kun would wear your PE costume, while I'll put on the jacket and trousers. Then we'll simply run through the front gate, anyone will simply think we're from the Athletics Club and have just finished our jogging. This plan is perfect."
In other words, like insects, we have to learn how to camouflage ourselves. At least it was better than having to randomly grab a guy and a girl from North High on their way home and take their clothes off.
"Where is this place?"
"A private hospital."
I took a look around. It was an impressive single-bed ward, and I was sleeping in the bed. For me to actually check in to a single-bed ward, my family must be quite rich, and I never realized.
"A friend of my uncle happens to be the warden of this hospital, so you get special treatment when you check in here."
Turns out my family isn't rich after all.
"Hmm......" Haruhi smiled and nodded. "All right, since you so want to have a showdown with us, then I'll accept your challenge. We're betting on the computer right? What are you placing your stakes on?"
"The computer over there, of course, what else would it be? If we lose, then that computer stays with you."
"That computer already belongs to us. There's not much fun in reclaiming what's already ours, find something else to bet on!"
For some reason I was moved by Haruhi's words, she can always find a way to turn any illegally obtained object into her legal possession. Does she intend to become a professional thief?
Haruhi cheerfully clicked her mouse and said,
"It would be better if this was a role-playing game. They would play the Evil Dark Lord, while I'd be the Fated Hero. It'd be great if we got straight to a boss battle right after the opening movie. I've always wondered, why do these bosses always hide in the dungeons? Wouldn't it be better for them to appear right at the beginning? I'd certainly do that if I were the Dark Lord. That way, the Hero wouldn't need to waste their time wandering around in the dungeon, and the story could come to an end quickly."
A RPG where the final boss appears outside the starting town right immediately after the opening movie, huh? I'll keep that in mind when I design my RPGs. :)
XD
"Forget it. It's not like we'll lose anyway. I forbid you to show mercy on them! Showing mercy to the opponent is the biggest insult to them! If you want to fight, give it your all!"
I've always wondered, what is the raw ingredient for this confidence? How I wish she would share some with me, even two milligrams of it would do.
Let us pray that Haruhi won't end up throwing all the computers out of the window in anger.
*prays* :P
Sitting to my right, Asahina continuously looked into her screen and mine. She was close to tears as she said,
"Where is everybody......"
I'm so sorry. Please just wander wherever you like and continue to be a lost child. It's for your own good.
Though the sudden change in situation had me speechless, my level of astonishment was merely that of a rookie Shaolin monk who has just begun his training; it was nothing compared with that of the Computer Study Group, who were probably now in total pandemonium as if Wall Street had just crashed.
Poor Mikuru now has her arms and legs carried by Tsuruya-san and the other two, who then toss her into the green murky pond. Somehow, one of the two male zombies, the goofy looking one, also fell into the pond as well. Don't worry about him, he'll climb out by himself anyway.
Besides the fact that Itsuki has committed the unspeakable sin of carrying Mikuru in his arms, another thing of note is that Mikuru seems to have just taken a bath and is now looking very captivating.
Yet it's very hard to imagine how an unconscious person can take a bath all by herself. This also means that besides having her body molested by the hands of this grinning hypocrite, there's no guarantee that nothing else has happened to her. Before these questions even have a chance of getting processed by the brain, one would already be consumed by wrath, which would in turn manifest itself into a murderous intent. Kind of like how I'm feeling right now.
Instead of being concerned about being ambushed by Yuki, Itsuki ought to worry more about how half the school is going to go after his life.
It's already criminal enough to bring a girl, who has been stunned senseless after nearly drowning, to his own room while she's still unconscious. To give her a bath would be beyond criminal, it would be a crime of the most primitive nature. The person who did this...... No, the bastard Itsuki who did such a despicable act ought to be sliced into many pieces alive, and his family would get no compensation for that either. It's his fault for actually doing what every guy in the school wants to do instead.
Seeing how he has obediently followed orders from afar, he now moved closer to Mikuru's face. If he dares move one centimeter closer, then someone who isn't supposed to appear in the movie would break the fourth wall and beat the crap out of Koizumi...... I mean the guy who plays Itsuki. Fortunately, he was stopped by someone whose appearance in this scene isn't that surprising.
Go, Kyon! Break the fourth wall and beat the crap out of him!! XD
When Mikuru wakes up and realizes her current situation, she will be so embarrassed that she'll probably throw anything at Itsuki that she can lay her hands on. After all, she was staying all alone with a guy and wearing only a T-shirt. It's only natural that she would think she has been molested and proceed to beat the crap out of Itsuki, right? Please do let the story go in this direction.
The one speaking was Shamisen, so you could guess how horrified I was. I specifically told him many times not to talk, and he just wouldn't shut up. He can forget about his meal tonight.
"It's my fault. I shouldn't have dictated this thing word-for-word, and I should've turned down Nakagawa's request on the phone. Please forget what just happened. I'll have a word with that idiot. Don't worry though, I don't think he's the sort that would become a stalker."
But, if Asahina-san were to suddenly have a boyfriend, I'd probably stalk him all day...
Huh? So that's why, that's how it is.
Now I knew what this uncomfortable feeling in my heart was.
Whether it was Asahina-san or Nagato, I just can't stand any guy getting between them and me! It was that simple. That was why I felt so relieved, I guess I'm an easy-to-understand guy.
What about Haruhi, you say? Ah, if it's that girl, then I'm not worried at all. Haruhi would usually ignore any guy that dares to pursue her. Should the skies one day fall and Haruhi actually begins to go out with someone, then she wouldn't be busy looking for aliens or time travelers. That should be a good news for the Earth, and I'm sure Koizumi would be delighted at the decrease in workload.
She yelled while carrying a smile, only that her smile looked a bit stiff. If the strength that she used to drag me towards the window were converted into energy, it would be enough to supply a day's worth of indoor heating. Not even my frantic attempt at explaining could reduce the intensity of this strength,
While we were in the middle of something, but it was nothing serious. Besides there's nothing fun about twisting and pulling with Haruhi, it would be a different story if it were with Asahina-san though... Anyway, please do come in. From the past to the present, I have never once denied Asahina-san the right to enter, nor do I intend to.
"Asahina-san, it would seem we have arrived at an unsuitable time. Perhaps we should return later until they settle some domestic affair. I'll pay for your coffee at the vending machine as well."
Hold it, Koizumi. If you were treating our wrestling around as some typical domestic squabble between a married couple, then I suggest you go have your eyesight examined. Oh, and don't try to use this as an opportunity to abduct Asahina-san. Asahina-san, this is really nothing, so there's no need for you to worry and nod your head and agree with him.
Oh yeah, Asahina-san's attire today was rather normal, a simple sailor uniform. This was because her maid uniform, nurse uniform and all other costumes have been sent to the laundry, including the frog suit as well. When Haruhi and I had carried the whole cosplay wardrobe containing Asahina-san's bodily fragrance to the laundry store, the store owner just kept staring at me and Haruhi, and that left a mental scar within me.
You are least qualified to lecture me when you yourself have skipped through warming up and jumped straight into proposing. You have disregarded the basic rules of Shogi, who on earth would do a checkmate on their first move anyway?
Haruhi stares at the clock on the wall.
"It's bad if we don't visit the temple."
It's not that bad. No matter how easygoing the buddhas are, they no doubt won't want to see you paying tribute to them. The shrine that we used for backdrop during the filming of that movie probably has posted warning signs out to forbid us from visiting them.
"What're you talking about? To be so blessed as to be in a country where all sorts of religions are practiced, it would be a shame not to do everything. Besides, why not celebrate New Year's as we've already done Christmas? The idea of not celebrating New Year's is like having already reserved for a banquet and leaving after only looking at the utensils! That's why we definitely have to be there for the temple visit!"
Well then, why not dig a snow cave out in the courtyard, and put in a donation bin and a little shrine? Well inside the cave, a Miko-wardrobe clad Asahina-san would be the resident deity. That way we wouldn't have to run to some temple, and I would devoutly worship through day and night, and after that, followers will no doubt flock in, and with that kind of influx of people, the donation bin will definitely not be empty.
Looking at Asahina-san with her hair tied up, an indescribable feeling slowly welled up in my heart. I was like one of those loyal knights in your typical RPGs, with a sworn duty to protect a princess who had to flee the palace due to inner conflict in the royal court and wander all over the world.
Futomaki really is a local tradition. In a nutshell, she's a brigade leader that rigidly follows the little traditional festivals of the four seasons. Now, the SOS Brigade isn't the 'Save our world by Overloading it with fun: Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade' anymore, it's the 'Save the world by celebrating all Obscure festivals: Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade'. This is so not a lie.
"I kept thinking I was forgetting something. Yeah, It was Setsubun!"
Maybe she realized it after seeing Taniguchi's lunch, sushi. As soon as Taniguchi opened his lunch box, he started to vent, "Oi, oi, what the hell is this? How come this is it?" angrily.
"They made it for you with good intentions, don't be picky." I replied. But deep inside me, I agreed with this kid, and I do not approve of whoever made such a lunch. At least wrap it up after cutting it, don't let Haruhi see.
Haruhi said, lamenting.
"Hey, if we had dressed Mikuru-chan up in a shrine maiden costume, we could have used this to make some money. Even if we only asked for 100 yen each, we'd still make quite a large sum, right?"
If we had dressed her up in that costume, she would suddenly be very popular, but there's nothing to worry about. Cosplay is limited to the clubroom only.
"Whew, Fuku wa uchi — Umm, Yeah. Fuku wa uchi — "
I gazed at the frantically throwing Asahina-san and the completely silent Nagato tossing beans off the balcony. Of course, a picture of them in shrine maiden costumes went through my head, and I replied to Haruhi,
"500 yen each, I say."
After school, I opened the door to the club room and embraced the coldness and emptiness that had awaited me. Not only was Asahina-san’s warm greeting absent, even Nagato’s chair was empty. Haruhi hadn’t returned yet, as it was her turn today to receive advice on her further studies. She would probably be in the staff room right now, making some unreasonable "career" plans with the homeroom teacher Okabe-sensei. If someone asked her what she would like to be after she grows up, she would probably put on a stern face and reply "Dictator", "Supreme Ruler of the Universe" or something of the sort.
If by any chance you do turn out to become one of the above, I would be very depressed.
Under normal circumstances, it would be impossible to enter the broom closet. It would take the greatest effort for one person to squeeze in, never mind two. Haruhi had first abducted Asahina-san to be the official mascot because of her great figure. Needless to say, the both of us were meant to be together. And I mean that quite literally, as in the both of us pressed tightly against each other in a small broom closet. Even though there were uniforms in the way, I could still feel something warm and soft press against my chest.
As I was lost in a world of my own, I suddenly heard the sound of a door being opened. It seemed that someone had come in, but I really couldn’t give a damn right now. Just like two people trying to keep each other warm with their body heat in the middle of a cottage without any heating facilities during winter, Asahina-san clung tightly to me, while breathing heavily. I had no idea why she was clinging tightly to me, but who cares. A chance like this only comes once in a blue moon.
Warning signs my ass. The black haze had suddenly turned into blissful ozone, taking me into the very depths of wonderland itself...
Oh well, I suppose there isn’t any need to continue talking to myself. All I want is for time to freeze at this moment. Nothing else.
"Suzumiya-san looked a bit angry."
Because she argued with Okabe-sensei about her ambitions. If there were any application forms for her desired ambitions, I would want one, too.
I didn’t have that much confidence within me. If Asahina-san did indeed depend on me, the effect would be like a domino piece leaning on another. There were only two possibilities. Either it would fall and collide with the others, or it would remain standing tall.
If I was indeed a domino piece, who would I choose to lean on? Since Asahina-san (future) chose to lean on me, who should I choose? There weren’t many choices.
The first one I rejected would be Haruhi. If anyone dares to ask why, I’ll scramble his brains, since he doesn’t appear to have any sense of shame.
So why would you reject Haruhi?? :P
How would you know what made Nagato feel good or bad? I bet that even if someone stripped stark naked before her and started dancing a nude dance, she probably wouldn't even flinch.
The way she tightly gripped the sleeve of my shirt, there was no way to describe how grateful I was. With a face as tiny and cute as hers, there was no reason not to protect her. If I didn’t protect her, even if the Earth was reduced to dust, I wouldn’t be able to find anyone more suitable than her to protect.
"Umm, Nagato, do you know that Asahina-san is from the future..." Oh wait, everyone knows that. "Sorry, I mean, do you know that this is another Asahina-san from eight days in the future?"
Nagato's voice woke me up from my hallucinations. Those expressionless black eyes looked even brighter than usual. "My highest priority is to protect you and Suzumiya Haruhi."
Oh how I hope you would include Asahina-san as well. And while we're at it, let's throw Koizumi in too. During the Snow Mountain incident, that fellow promised to help you as well.
You might as well throw in Tsuruya, Taniguchi and Kunikida as well. XD
After making my statement, I hurried out of the classroom before Taniguchi could think of a reply. At least I tried to console him. I'm not that kind of guy that would make fun of someone who just got dumped. Truthfully speaking, I really sympathize with you, but at the same time, I'm relieved to see one of my good buddies once again come back to accompany me at the starting line. Let's try harder in the future, okay?
Scale a mountain. Move a rock. This seemed like those RPGs, where the main character would be given a rather pointless mission, without any explanation why he had to do it. And there wasn’t any mentioning of what he would obtain should he follow the instructions given either. Worse, there wasn’t any guarantee that even if the hero did oblige, he would obtain something good.
When I design my own RPG, I will definitely add a quest asking the player to scale a mountain and move a rock as a reference to Suzumiya Haruhi (referring to the series by the way, not the character). XD
This time, it was I who took the lead. I was grateful that I remembered to bring along a flashlight. The ancients once feared the darkness and worshiped the light like a divine entity. Now, thanks to modern day science, there was no longer the need to do so, as I carried the divine entity in my own hands.
Fear Kyon, carrier of the divine entity!! XD
"Oh don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with having her in my house. She’s just so cute! Compared to the Mikuru in school, she’s so much cuter! Don’t you think so? She’s so cute that I want to hug her as I sleep ~nyoro."
Don’t tell me Tsuruya-san already did that. Oh, how I admire her!
The she Tsuruya is referring to Asahina-san (Michiru) btw. ;)
That's too bad. Truth to be told, the morning pairing really wasn’t of much importance to me. If only Koizumi hadn't picked a marked toothpick, he would very well be grouped together with Asahina-san and Nagato. Since I couldn't allow this potential two-timing, it was vital that he and I pick a marked toothpick. That's why I calmed down after knowing I would be grouped together with Koizumi.
Nagato was positioned at Haruhi's right, as Haruhi curled her left arm around Asahina-san's waist, grinning maniacally.
"Listen up. I don't care what it is, you have to uncover something mysterious today! Maybe you could try the sewers, since we've never been there before, or try counting the number of stripes in pedestrian crossings to see if they've mysteriously increased! As long as you put your hearts into it, I’m sure you'll be able to find something interesting! If you do something half-heartedly, you'll never achieve anything!"
You know, you've been the target of two aliens and a time traveler now, and yet you're still in the dark about it... Oh, I give up.
I once lost Haruhi and my friends from the SOS Brigade for a brief while, but now they're back within my embrace. I'll never forget that determination I had then. No matter what difficulties I'll face, how many times I fall, I'll never stop going forward. I'm not the sort of bridge-burning expert that would so easily abandon a decision I made just two months ago. I only ask that the exclamation "yare yare" be reserved exclusively for me.
No...! I want to use it too!! T_T
Lol at Itsuki and Kyon's reactions.
After answering casually, Tsuruya-san patted me on the shoulder and said in a big voice,
"Kyon-kun, keep up the good work! If you get into a fight with the Student Council, I'll give you a hand! And Haru-nyan and the others are all on your side, of course!"
SOS Brigade vs Student Council. :O
With an alien, an esper, a time traveler and a God among the ranks of the SOS Brigade, I bet it would be even more interesting than Order of the Phoenix vs Death Eaters. XD
"Hey, Kyon! Shouldn't you be doing something instead of just standing there, watching quietly? Don't hold back just because it's the Student Council President. If we all jump him and tie him up, that should be it. I'll put him in a lock, so you get the rope ready!"
Haruhi sure knows how to deal with external threats. ^_^ But wait, aren't they getting Tsuruya's help as well? XD
"Now that it's come to this, I'm declaring total war! Because, for your information, we take on any challenge from anyone, anytime, anywhere! The SOS Brigade is made up of nothing but women (and men) of valor, who are invincible and know no mercy or fear. Even if you cry or kneel on the ground, we will not forgive you!"
It seems like she's just making the situation more complicated.
Tsuruya-san, who had declared she would participate in the war in advance, Nagato, who was right at the verge of rage, and, as a bonus, Kimidori-san, who had made her unexpected return here; this much would've been complicated enough.
^_^
Spring would arrive soon, but since this school was situated on top of a mountain, it was still quite cold. Or maybe that was just me, due to receiving my end of term exam results just days ago.
I was pretty pleased myself with those results, but unfortunately it seemed that my mum wasn't. She didn't say it out loud, but from the way she brought home various flyers about tuition centers and cram schools, I could pretty much take a hint. Just the sight of them had made me feel weak in the stomach. My mum had suggested I enter a university, be it a local one or a private one. Okabe-sensei had written the same things on my report card. But give me a break man, it's just too demanding.
Haruhi had spoken to me about the same issue as well. Come to think of it, the only reason my marks weren't hovering dangerously above the dreaded "Pass" line was all thanks to Haruhi. She had specifically become my private tutor, giving me some last-minute "Studying tips" in the club room after school. A few days before the exams, she had slammed an entire stack of reference books and self-made notes on my desk and said:
"I won't let you fail and sit for miserable tuition classes and re-examinations during the holidays! I won't let something so trivial come between you and the SOS Brigade's activities!"
I can just imagine Itsuki: "That's Suzumiya-san for you." ^_^
Haruhi's method of study was simple, and that was via intuition. She would memorize any questions or topics she deemed important, and likely to appear on the sheet of my question papers. I had a feeling that Haruhi's intuition would be very accurate, so I listened carefully to her while nodding my head, Of course, if I were to ask Nagato, she would probably recite out the entire question paper for me, complete with the model answers. If I were to ask Koizumi instead, he might use some weird powers to magically whisk the question papers over from the staff room to the club room. Since I possessed no form of ESP, the only thing I could do was study hard.
She was attacking savagely, spiking at every chance. And before you ask, let me clarify that I wasn't peeping at her belly that occasionally showed whenever she made a high jump. I was looking at the expression on her face.
I had noticed that after plopping herself down on the commander's chair, Haruhi would be silent for a short period of time. First, she would turn on the computer and connect herself to the internet. That was a somewhat daily routine to her. The next thing she would do was access the SOS Brigade's miserable home page. This was the commander's duty, I suppose? Finally, she would begin surfing the Internet for all sorts of weird and unknown stuff. She would also occasionally download freeware from random sites and install them. I have no idea what's on the computer and what's not anymore. If she ran into a problem, Haruhi would simply summon up the Computer Society's President and have him fix things up immediately. Talk about using a tool to its fullest.
After knocking on the door, our client politely entered our club room. Perhaps it was due to her politeness, I felt as if I was witnessing a sheep enter a tiger's den.
That's a nice one to use for comprehension... *notes it down*
Haruhi roared.
"Be it ghosts, spirits, specters, wandering souls, whatever. As long as they're supernaturally related I've got no problem with them. I can't sit still after finding out about this kind of incident!"
You've never been able to sit still in the first place.
"Kyon, I would appreciate it if you'd stop interrupting me with your silly side comments. We're talking about spirits here, spirits! Don't you want to see one? Or have you already seen one yourself?"
I've never seen one, and I sure hope I never do.
I'm sorry, Sakanaka-san, but I'm afraid we don't have anyone talented in that field. The only ones we have are a book-loving alien, an esper who likes to deduce and a time traveler that will greatly soothe your tired eyes. We would probably be more talented in the science fiction field instead. Of course, all of this doesn't apply to good old normal me.
"Greatly soothe your tired eyes"... XD
All this while, Haruhi was listening very carefully. She would occasionally make random notes with her pencil, as if taking down important clues. But when I took a peek, all I saw were a couple of childish drawings of cats and dogs.
"I've basically understood the situation we're in right now."
The only thing I understand is that there's some place where dogs and cats can't enter.
Asahina-san clumsily picked up the puppy and began cradling it in her arms. Rousseau yipped happily and licked Asahina-san on her face. Now if this was the kind of treatment every dog could have, then I wouldn't mind being reincarnated into one during my next lifetime.
Maybe humans weren't allowed to keep pets in the future? But to tell you the truth, I would choose Asahina-san over a pet any day. Clad in a maid uniform, and greeting me every day, from "Good morning" till "Good night", wasn't that better than having a pet? Plus, wasn't that what a maid was supposed to do, as opposed to brewing tea in club rooms?
Ah who cares. It's all just a part of my fantasy anyway.
Since I've already come this far, I might just as well ask her more.
"What is this 'silicon' you keep mentioning?"
Sorry about that. I don't get along well with my chemistry teacher, and my chemistry grades have never been good either.
I'm proud that even I, someone who phails Chemistry and dislikes the Chemistry teacher, knows what silicon is. :D
I heard a very loud sigh, before realizing that I was the one who had emitted it. Classified information, eh. Now where have I heard that before? The next time someone asks me a question I don't understand, I'm going to reply 'Classified Information'. I think I'll try it out the next time a teacher asks me something in class.
Sakanaka-san's 'spirits' case had finally been solved thanks to Nagato. I believe that spirits don't exist in this world, and I'm sure Koizumi is of a similar opinion. The problem was that Haruhi did believe in them, and indeed hoped that they would come to pay her a visit every few hours. It seems that our brigade commander's wishes have escalated from aliens, time travelers and espers to spirits now.
The task of mapping out 'spirit hotspots' I leave to Koizumi. Oh and if we do snap any pictures of spirits, Koizumi, do me a favor and whip up some scientific excuse on the spot. What was I going to be in charge of, you ask? That's simple. I'll be the one in charge of hugging Asahina-san if she ever screams out in the dark.
Due to the school district assignments I ended up in North High and met Suzumiya Haruhi, the walking enigma. Before even getting acquainted with the situation, I was put through her crazy self-introduction. While I was still wondering "What is wrong with this person?", I was dragged into her world and forced to join a mysterious organization known as the SOS Brigade. Thanks to this, I met real-life aliens, espers, and time travelers, who aren't even supposed to exist. It would be fine if it had stopped at that, but I was dragged into paranormal events one after another, and had to go on crazy sprees with Haruhi as well. My, my. My life experiences must have increased exponentially just in the past year. In fact, I think I would have no problems defeating those bosses in games with all this experience (EXP).
"Kyon, did you forget what we came here for? I will give you two seconds; you better remember the answer by then."
Regarding this issue...
"Okay, time's up."
Haruhi only gave me half a second before declaring this to be the case, and shook her finger before bringing it to the shoulders of Nagato, who remained completely immobile, as if she'd been frozen.
At least he has enough time to say "regarding this issue"... XD
Haruhi raised her chest even higher and said, while pointing towards Koizumi and my table,
"Look, these two are only sitting here doing nothing, right? There is absolutely no sign that reads SOS Brigade. Kyon's face also appears more retarded than normal due to some unknown reason, doesn't it?"
I believe the last line is unnecessary isn't it?
That's true. There are times set aside for first-years to be introduced to the various clubs and societies within their curriculum time, and I heard that it is already over by now. The reason why this remains purely as hearsay is because the SOS Brigade is not even a recognized club in the first place, and thus it is impossible for us to participate. The only one among us invited to attend this event was the president of the Literature Club, Nagato Yuki. As Nagato stood on stage alone, she spoke all the way until the final second with the enthusiasm of a weatherwoman reporting the weather of the world's various major cities about a thesis titled "Neurological studies on the incomplete transmission of information and feelings through words", which was assigned to the Literature Club. The thesis failed to even mention the word 'club', much less 'Literature Club'. It is also heard that before Nagato was even halfway through the thesis, most first-years had already became slaves of the sleeping devil. Combined with Nagato's tone that sounded more like she was chanting scriptures than giving a speech, those who were originally interested in joining the Literature Club no doubt purged such thoughts from their minds immediately. Nagato Yuki can be really scary sometimes.
I swung the end of the extension cable around. Noticing this, the third year president willingly handed me the socket of their extension cable. Haruhi's project to assimilate the Computer Research Society into the SOS brigade as a branch office has so far been successful and is gradually developing. If we don't put a stop to it, the project will grow into the "All Humans are Members of the SOS Brigade" project, and she might even complete it before desertification spreads throughout the world. I trust Homo Sapiens aren't foolish enough to allow such a plan to be carried out.
Although the title has Nagato's name on it, the protagonist of the story is still Asahina Mikuru. (Eh? Isn't the protagonist supposed to be Koizumi Itsuki instead?) Might as well do a mini-explanation here. Because Asahina Mikuru's real identity is a battle waitress from the future, Asahina-san is forced to wear that revealing costume again. This is the arrangement of the Ultra Director Suzumiya Haruhi. Nagato continues to wear her school uniform with a witch's hat, black cloak, and a magic wand with a star at one end. Koizumi is still ordered to carry that light reflector board.
The only activity conducted by the Literature Club last year was the publishing of the club magazine as directed by the puppet student council president under Koizumi. Haruhi, who fell for it immediately, forced us into doing so. Due to a blunder back then, all copies have already been distributed for free except one, which is left on the Director's table for perusal. Everyone who contributed to the magazine, including me, was given a free copy as well as a keepsake. However, it seems that people are usually reluctant to share anything that is hard-earned. Taniguchi even talked about how much blood he spilled just to produce his article back then.
Lol, spilling blood to produce an article... XD
Koizumi gave a look of relief, let out a long sigh and lowered his voice.
"I am not getting enough sleep these few days. I have a tendency to wake up in the middle of the night or the early mornings even when I do not want to. The main reason is because my body has not been too well lately."
If you cannot sleep at home at night, then just sleep in class during lessons. It is said that sleeping five minutes during lessons is equivalent to sleeping an hour normally.
Really, Kyon? No wonder I feel so refreshed after sleeping through an hour of Chemistry lesson! XD
Sasaki let go of one of the handlebars to the bicycle and ran around it with the free hand, trying to show the passage of time.
"Kyon got into North High right? Has high school life been great so far? I cannot decide if it is great or not, at least I am not unhappy about it at this moment. In fact, it may be a bit interesting. If I were to narrate all the amazing events that occurred in this past year, it would be longer than a bolt of cloth. "Isn't that good? Unlike me, who can hardly find anything to talk about. I can't say it's boring, just that nothing big enough in school happened that would upset the natural balance of Earth."
That is good. If incidents like mine happen in every high school nationwide, it is no longer a question of interesting or not. I am afraid the world will sink into chaos.
Why don't you find a place and set up a private school next time and become its principal and name it the SOS School instead? You can then force everyone to become SOS Brigade members at that time. Hmm...... now that I think about it, such a thought is rather scary.
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